


A Hundred Jewels [Between Teeth]

by Toopence



Category: Funhaus, Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-06-29
Updated: 2015-07-05
Packaged: 2018-04-06 20:59:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,106
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4236405
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Toopence/pseuds/Toopence
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Seven people cannot get married, it’s against the law.<br/>Kovic, James, Bruce, Spoole, Lawrence, Joel and Matt are the Funhaus Crew. With a heart of cocaine and blood thick with ammunition it’s an ugly beast, ruling Los Santos with an iron fist.<br/>And they’ve never seen the law as an obstacle.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Title from team by lorde  
> More to be added, Imma do 7 chapters of 3 marriages,  
> If you have any requests/ comments leave me a message  
> I'll put relationship tags in the order they come

Matt/Adam

Matt brings up their marriage with a far off look in his eyes when they find out its legal. Adam waits a couple weeks to propose, finding the perfect silver bands and waiting for a break in the summer rain. He drives Matt up Chiliad as the sun sets, reaching the top as the sky turns pink. He gets down on one knee like he’s supposed to and if they both cry a little bit whilst Adam stumbles through his speech then they won’t mention it later.

They have an autumn wedding, planned to perfection in beautiful chapel. They wear tuxes and underneath Matt wears white lingerie because he’s damned if he’s not going to be the bride. They ban weapons (although Matt can’t prove that Bruce and James don't at least have knives strapped to their thighs under their suits without getting them out of their suits and that is not what the day's about) because they’ve had to wait too long for this and Matt refuses to let one of his trigger happy boyfriends ruin it. Said trigger happy boyfriends are the best men and Matt cries as he’s walked down the aisle by his dad. 

They're afterparty goes into the morning, and the grooms dance to “Better Together” torn between crying and giggling. Spoole cries. They go to Hawaii on their honeymoon, blissfully happy, and return tanned, happy and ready to get back to work.

James/Bruce

James and Bruce propose to each other every time they eat Haribo, but this time with alcohol and weed as fuel they decide to follow through. They make Spoole come with them, loading Bruce’s Mercedes up with firework launchers and a couple pistols. 

They drive out to an abandoned chapel on the north side, music blazing with the roof off and breaking every speed law possible. Spoole officiates (he did a course) and they both struggle to keep a straight face as he recites. After, they fuck on the steps, slow but insistent whilst Spoole shoots anyone who gets within 100 metres. In their leisurely afterglow they shoot the fireworks up into the spire and laugh as they decorate the wooden beams with scorch-marks. The chapel burns around them, and Spoole has to pull them out of the ruin when the wood begins to make a loud splintering noise. They sit in the car outside, making out and watching the chapel burns as Spoole takes photos of them from a respectful distance

They don’t go away afterwards, don't act any different, because deep down nothings changed, they got married the first time James offered Bruce a Haribo ring.

Bruce/Joel

Bruce proposes to Joel with a ring balanced on top of his leather jacket, he slips both on and follows the post it note arrows through to garage. Bruce is waiting next to his bike, hands ringing anxiously in his lap but his worries are squashed when Joel breathes a yes into his mouth and kisses him hard. They both slip on their helmets and Joel wraps his arms around his waste.

They ride to Vegas via Death Valley, Joel screaming in his helmet as they race off road over the rocky ledges. They make Vegas by eight and immediately Joel is at a poker table with a martini in his hand. They warm up on small tables, moving upwards as they generate more money. They leave well before midnight, they're use to the rough and tumble of Los Santos but neither of them want to be on the wrong side of a bouncer accusing them of card counting. They visit the vegas chapel, giddy and giggling as they are pronounced husbands.

They crash in the nicest hotel they can, with two $500 bottles of champagne in a cooler and sheets tangled in their feet. The next morning they race down the strip together, Joel’s flare gun scattering the crowds.


	2. Chapter 2

Sean/Joel

Joel doesn’t tell Spoole that they’re getting married, but when he’s bundled into a car at four in the morning, still wrapped in a blanket, he assumes that’s what they're doing. They drive to the airport, jump the fence (and fail but really this wouldn’t be a fungus wedding without a slightly dented car) and take the smallest plane possible out of there. There windows are already blocked out, but theres a table filled with Danish Pastries and Lawrence drives for them. Spoole falls asleep in Joel’s arms.

Joel’s organised a beech wedding, on a white sand beach in the Carribean. He makes sure there are lilies on the guest seats (nearly all of which are filled by his other boyfriends and his and Spoole’s parents) and he’s written his own vow, a semi-serious reincarnation of a sonnet that has them both blubbering as they say ‘I do’.

They stay on the island for a week, and Spoole gets sunburnt and they have totally not platonic massage sessions with the after burn. Spoole uses the honeymoon as an excuse to buy hideous hawaian shirts and Joel swears that he’s going to divorce him again. 

 

James/Lawrence

James builds a garden one February weekend, while Lawrence is away dealing with a gang that didn't quite understand that they were on Funhaus turf. They’re busy people, not unfamiliar with having to move house at the drop of the hat, but the skyscraper they're based in, the one they return to every time, has no garden. James builds wooden flower beds on the roof top and when Lawrence gets back he proposes with one knee on the hard soil.

They get married when summer hits, with the newly planted flowers blooming around them. It’s sunny with a soft breeze, and James complains that the winds messing up his hair even though Lawrence is sure that he's never looked anything other that perfect. They both wear satin suits, and their afterparty is Adam’s famous steaks.

They don't have a honeymoon, but Lawrence argues that every time they sit on the wooden bench reading on a Saturday morning or stay up late talking in the moon light its the same thing. James agrees.

 

Adam/Bruce 

Adam and Bruce decide to get married on a mattress on the floor of the shittiest safe house they own. It had started as more of a joke, more of a ‘I dare you” than anything else but somehow they're pulling on underwear and searching the house for their pants and shirts.

They get married in a registry office, with a bored looking judge and four couples waiting behind them. They’re wearing yesterdays t-shirts, still slightly tipsy at midday and with no rings to think of . Adam feels kind of bad about that, but can’t really do anything to fix that as they drive back to their main base to tell the others. And Bruce doesn't seem to care or otherwise his hollering is a very good veil for his true feelings.

It strikes Adam the next morning, as he rolls over to kiss his newest husband awake. Tattoos. It’s perfect, they're both running out of ring fingers anyway. Bruce’s been wanting one for the while, and Adam’s decided his arm band is looking way too lonely. They go to the tattoo parlour together, sit in the squeaky wed leather chairs across from each other, fingers leaving white shadows on each others hands. Bruce gets a solid black band, a mirrored parody of Adam’s that takes half an hour to do. Adam’s a bit more adventurous, less nervous about the pain. He gets two dice, with a total of six sides on display and although it takes Bruce the entire way home to ‘get’ it’, Sean coos with delight as soon Adam unwraps it with him. Six boyfriends. Six husbands. Six faces. Perfect.


	3. Chapter 3

Lawrence/Joel

Lawrence’s proposal to Joel is a cryptic note stuck to their front door. Its on the nicest paper Joel’s ever seen, cream with slanted ink in Lawrence’s nicest handwriting across it. Joel’s heart sings just a little bit as he opens the envelope. There’s a poem, of course, but it only takes him a minute to understand what it means. He gets back into his car and he’s on the beach under the pier in a minute. There’s another envelope taped to one of the exposed beams and although he’s not sure it’s the exact beam they first kissed against but its pretty damn close. This envelope’s got another poem and that one’s easy as well. He drives up to their old house, a shitty bungalow that only had half of its windows but enough space for a king sized mattress on the floor for them and James when they first got together. The flower pot they kept their spare keys under has the last envelope, and Joel drives over to the tiny park nestled at the base of Chiliad. It’s the place where Lawrence first said he loved Joel, a bench nestled in a hedge of roses. Lawrence is there on one knee and Joel’s saying yes as he approaches even though Lawrence has a whole speech prepared.

They get married almost immediately, but there’s enough of a break for Joel to change and try to sort his hair out a little bit. They’re friends are there in the summer sun, people they know from college, work deals and their boyfriends. Joel ad-libs his vows, Lawrence tries to do the same, but he cant stop giggling and his words become unintelligible quickly. 

Their honeymoon is in India, sending pictures of them riding elephants home as postcards and visiting every temple possible. It’s way too short really, the two weeks not nearly enough time for either of them to get their fill of the culture (or the heat). 

James/Joel

Joel and James decide that they’re getting married whilst they’re getting coffee one morning, the out-the-door queue of the hipster coffeehouse completely separated from their bubble. They’re both smiley throughout the day, falling together into their bed at the end of the day, just the two of them. But by the following morning Joel’s feeling kind of cheated out of the romance of the proposal, bitter at the thought of the marriage between them being any less than his unions with the other six. James is a diva by nature so when he brings this up with Joel they organise a movie night for all seven of them. They rent out one of the advertising slots before the film starts, and although they’re rushed to get there (Joel has to kiss James to stop him from barking at Bruce to fucking drive faster) they make it. All of the boys make enough noise to be heavily shushed by the pimply teen attendant when the ad comes up, but suddenly Peake is kissing them softly and saying how happy he is for them and Bruce has James in a headlock. They miss most of the film after that, disinterested completely at the copious explosions.

They arrange their marriage in autumn, in cut area of a wheat field, surrounded on each side by oceans of yellow. It’s gorgeous, and the two of them are radiant in their suits but everyones confused as to why, especially when after they’ve said I do they’re asked to wait where they are. There are a load of technicians around and they rig up a huge screen at one end of the field and there’s a procession of vintage cars being driven onto the field and all of their guests sit and watch James and Joel’s favourite films in vintage cars as the sun goes down. Adam 100% starts a bonfire with smores.

They don’t have a honeymoon, their wedding coming at a busy time for the gang and instead Joel checks his phone to see a standing reservation for forever for a movie night once a month, dinner afterwards too. And really thats all they need.

James/Matt

Adam comes home to find a yellow sticky note on the Jack with James’ messy scrawl proclaiming “getting married see you in a week” in one of Sean’s sparkly gell pens. Adam’s not entirely sure who we is, but Matt doesn't answer his phone so he assumes

The two come back with matching dark scars across their left palms and the news that one of their safe houses, a smallish beach side house about 100 km south on the coast, had to be burnt down. James also has to get the name and number of Joel’s favourite knife repair man, and Matt quietly tells Lawrence to delete all records of two of their fake identities.


End file.
